November is coming to a close and it has been a strange month, and one which I have found very conflicting. As you will probably be able to tell by the lack of photos on this post, I haven’t really been too busy (which has been nice) but at the same time I feel like I have never stopped. I have more just been doing tasks that are not too fun, for instance trial exam revision, or ones that I can’t photograph because they have been spontaneous or I just want to spend time in the moment.
Despite nothing negative happening this month and actually on the whole being a very positive few weeks, I have found myself feeling down and more on edge in comparison to what I usually do. I think it’s a mixture of tiredness, the cold weather/dark nights and being run down (with the general cold and flu, nothing serious). It sounds weird but taking time for myself and not having much in my planner makes me feel more negative. Someone very close to me has taught me that the moment you take time for yourself you equally give yourself time to think… And that inevitably will lead to negative thoughts, but that’s completely okay. You need time to think and process emotions and if you are constantly busy your brain is never given adequate time to have emotions. I am the type of person that always feels guilty for taking time to relax, but I need to learn to take more time out and have some alone time. One person can not be constantly on the go and let another factor suffer, and I think my incredibly busy October and the words of some people had a cost on my mental state which needed to be tended to this month. Anyway, this is a predominantly positive place so I don’t want to dwell on the negatives… But equally if I feel something I am going to share regardless because I don’t want to fall into the trap of painting a sugar coated picture of my life just for my blog.
Now back to the positives. At the first weekend of the month, some family friends came to stay and me and my family spent the whole weekend with them. They visit two weekends a year, and every time it is a blissful few days of eating, drinking and relaxing. It almost feels like you are having a weekend away yourself when in fact you are still in your town, which is lovely for someone who isn’t the keenest on travelling. I crossed out the weekend in my diary, which meant I focused all my time on them (apart from a few hours on the Saturday afternoon) and having fun with the group. I miss them already, it truly is so lovely to have a group of friends that you click with despite the age gap.
This past weekend I came to the realisation that I am not half as organised for Christmas as I am meant to be, and this time last year I was nearly finished Christmas shopping yet this year I have barely begun. Not good! Me and my bestest friend Isy (who is as unorganised as me) decided to go to Newcastle to have a festive day and do some shopping. It made me feel in such a Holiday spirit due to all of the decorations/lights up and the Christmas music playing and now I feel much more excited for December.
Perhaps my favourite thing though was the evening before, when me and her spent the night on my sofa with a takeaway Indian, a box of celebrations and a few drinks. Me and Isy used to be joined at the hip but recently our lives have got so busy that we haven’t made as much time for each other than we probably should. It was lovely to sit and catch up, watch cringe worthy reality TV and laugh 4 hours away like it was 4 minutes. That girl deserves more credit for how amazing she is (and if you are reading this Isy, this is not a compliment!!).
So overall November has been a strange month, but one with lots of little positives and laughs thrown in along the way. I’m very excited for December, mainly because of Christmas but also because of having time off college to spend with family and friends. It’s so nice being festive, and everyone is in a good mood over the holidays. I already have a few things in my diary for over the festive period and I’m very excited for all the glitter and fairy lights!