December was…. Hard. Honestly that’s the only way to describe it. I think December has zapped all of the life out of me, it was most certainly the hardest month of my 2016. But with every cloud comes a silver lining and I’m not going to write about the negatives. As much as I could sit and write a blog post with anger and upset in my heart, I want this ‘hello’ series to be predominantly positive and a nice thing to look back on, so despite me touching on upsetting moments in order to paint a realistic picture I am here to focus on happy memories and there has been a number in December, I have made an effort to create happy moments and I have most certainly done that.
Sometimes the hardest of times reveal the nicest of things, and the nice thing has certainly been my best friend Emily. She has been close to me for around 2 years now but this past 3 weeks has heightened that completely and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. This girl is literally incredible…. And I know she is reading this so it feels really weird to talk about her without addressing her directly if that makes any sense. Well anyway, she is one of the most kind hearted people I have come across and I can honesty say that this month would have turned a very different way if it wasn’t for her. She has listened to me moan, shout, and go through every emotion under the sun, wipe away my tears (trust me… That was a job in itself!) and be with me every step. She even missed her classes to be with me when I was feeling down and didn’t bat an eyelid. She is honestly my rock and I can’t wait to build on our friendship in the many months to come.
I wasn’t sure to mention this or not however I have decided to write about it because although it will hold no significance to anyone reading this, it made my day and I will remember the gesture for a long time so I wanted to put it into this post. When I was having a really bad day at the beginning of the month, one of the guys in my year was walking home and actually turned around and walked back to college when he heard that I was upset just to make sure that I was okay. Now if this was one of my friends I wouldn’t bat an eyelid (obviously it is still really nice gesture if one of my friends did do something like that though) but the gesture was even more sweet because we are not close at all, he isn’t in my group and although we went to secondary together we were never really good friends. Honestly when writing this it doesn’t seem like a large deal but it meant the world at the time and I wanted to document that, sometimes the smallest of actions make the biggest of impact.
Talking of college, a moment I was really proud of this month was when I opened my results for my trial exams. Even though I knew they were the first trial and didn’t really mean much in the grand scheme of my education, I was really worried about these exams because it was the first time I had done an A level style paper, and technique is always the part I struggle with. However I ended up getting 4 A’s (the highest I could get) which I am so so proud of myself about. Achieving something that I wanted to always gives me the motivation to push forward/ maintain and that is what I hope to do. It certainly was a fulfilling moment and shows that hard work does pay off and I can do A levels without having a breakdown! This month has also been the month where I have decided what degree I am aiming for at university, which is maybe a bit too far in advance for most people. However I am the type of person who needs a plan in order to be productive (I need something to work towards) and it was beginning to worry me that I didn’t know what was going to happen when I left sixth form. Although it’s a huge goal to reach and I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t get it (the entry requirements are ridiculous), it’s nice to have something to work towards.
When we broke up for the Christmas I decided to have a party with my friends in order to give out my Christmas gifts to them and just spend some time together before we all didn’t see each other for a couple of weeks (spending time with family and festive celebrations etc). I absolutely loved this evening, usually I’m not the party type of girl but I really let my hair down and relaxed… It was such a fun time! A night filled with laughter, dancing and friends is what everyone needs sometimes.
For some reason I have not felt very festive this year (I have been such a Scrooge) but when Christmas did roll around it was so lovely and such a good few days with family. This year I feel like I have been focusing a lot of time on studying and friendships that I haven’t seen my family as much as I should have done, so it was nice to put aside a long weekend to put everything down and have quality family time. We stayed in (we always have a small Christmas with just close family) and it was nice to just relax and wind down. The next day I went to my dads house and had a little second Christmas with more extended family that I only see once or twice a year, which was also really nice. It’s not all about the gifts, but my family and friends were certainly incredibly generous when giving me presents and I am very thankful, it didn’t go unnoticed.
My best friend Isys birthday is in between Christmas and new year so we always take time to celebrate, this year was no different and we went for a meal at a local restaurant with all of our friends. Its weird how much you miss people that you spend every day with when you don’t see them for a couple of weeks, it makes me scared for university when we are all dotted around the country and barely see each other! As much as it was nice to see everyone, it was even more lovely to have a couple of days just relaxing with Isy and staying in our pyjamas… We really know how to party!
And as I’m sat writing this it is currently 12:30 in the morning on New Year’s Day, and my heart is feeling very full and content. I’m sat on my sofa with a cosy blanket, writing this with the BBC on in the background and the fireworks have just ended (fireworks have been kind to me in 2016 and I hope that continues into 2017, it’s weird to think I used to be scared of them). My phone is buzzing with so many sweet messages from my friends… I am having a little giggle at some tipsy videos that my friends have sent me from parties and some lovely messages from old friends who I don’t talk to as much anymore. It’s making me so excited for January to stand myself back up on my own two feet and take whatever life throws at me, but I certainlyneeded a break this holidays.
In the diary there is not great deal planned in for January but I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of college (I have been far too lazy this Christmas break and I need to up my revision drastically) and just see what comes my way. I’m just glad to see the back of December, although more good memories have been made which is a good thing. I can’t wait to see what January holds.