Well this is strange. As much as you won’t have noticed much of a change because I have prescheduled a lot of blog posts, this is the first time that I have sat and properly written since easter and I can’t express how good it feels to be back and blogging again. I just haven’t had the time (more on that later) but I am so happy that I have finally got some time to just lay on my sofa and write again without rushing or cramming it onto my to do list. I have so many plans for blog posts over summer but I just wanted to do a little life update post to get back into the swing of blogging before all of the exciting summer posts start.
So the biggest thing that has happened since recently is that I have finished my A levels and left my sixth form for good. Don’t get me wrong I am so relieved that it is all over but equally it terrifies me and I almost feel a little deflated by everything. Two years worth of hard work went into two weeks and 12 exams, and once I had put my pen down it was weird to think it was all over and there was nothing more that I could do.
What I am trying to say is that I always wanted to leave sixth form until I actually left.
I spent two years of my life at sixth form and when I say I threw myself into the work and the experience I am not putting it lightly. I took 4 A levels (as most of you will know if you read my studying posts) and my god it was hard but I did it. I woke up at 6am most mornings for months (and 5am over exam season) and I wouldn’t be surprised if I was still working past 9pm most nights. Don’t get me wrong I had my breaks and I wasn’t productive at every waking moment but I know that I did try my best and put in 110% to these exams. They took over my life and although they were hard I’m so glad they consumed everything as it taught me just how much I can dedicate to something, since easter my whole life has been on hold pretty much and I’m just praying that I will see that in my results in a few months.
I’ve got to know my teachers, and I have got to the point where I see them as more than just my teachers but people who I can connect with both inside and outside of the classroom. I know how lucky I was to get that support as I know that not many people end up having that connection with them and it definitely changed my sixth form experience knowing that my teachers have my back but equally we can have a laugh and a good time in lessons. I think going and giving my favourite teacher the biggest bunch of flowers is one of my favourite memories recently, because I could see how much she appreciated it and I loved being able to give her something that was nowhere near the value of what she has given me but still showing our appreciation for her in some way.
As far as sixth form itself goes, I’m not sure how I feel about leaving. I have made friends there but equally I have lost friends there and I’ve ultimately changed more in the past two years than at any other stage of my life so far. All I know is that I will definitely look back on my time at sixth form and smile, so many great memories have been made there and I’m glad that I spent so much time in the sixth form as it meant that towards the end I really did feel comfortable being there. Its so weird that I will never go back though, even down to my little economics classroom, the amount of times I have laughed and sat doing homework in there, and then all of a sudden I won’t spend every single moment in there. During exam season I can’t even express to you how much time me and my best friend spent in that room, I was there before 8am every morning with my whiteboard pen and scribbling all over the place, and then all of a sudden I will never do that again.
I am not the person that likes change (I never have) but it definitely scares me that I will never go back there and a door of my life is now closed. You pour so much work into something then all of a sudden and just like that it is over. Its such a weird feeling, but I can remember feeling exactly the same when I left school a few years ago.
That turned into a pretty big outpour of emotions didn’t it? I think that the most important thing to come out of this blog post is that I am okay. I feel like recently my blog has been very ‘surface level’ (if that makes any sense) because everything was pre scheduled and very typical blogger style in my opinion. And as much as that is good and entertaining to read its not me. I like posts like this where I can just write a title and then go, with very little plan… just seeing where the mood takes me. I’m sure that a few of you avid readers will have probably picked up on that change of tone and change of nature and I’m sorry for that. I can assure you that I am okay, I’ve had a lot going on in my life recently both A level related but also other things and I do think it has taken a toll on my content, but I promise that I am going to work harder now and really try and improve things over here. I’m bringing myself back!
Summer is setting up to be incredible, I have so many amazing things planned and I can’t wait to get back into blogging and documenting it all. Obviously the studying posts are likely to take a backseat now for a while, and instead will be replaced with a lot more travel content as I am going away a lot over my summer break. I can’t wait to take a lot more photos and really improve my Instagram game as well, as that was my New Years resolution but I have been slacking a lot with posts over exam season. I’m so excited to start sharing my immediate life with you again and really getting back into engaging with my audience and see what happens. It was around this time last year when I went to my first blogging event and now look what Indigo Rosee has become a year on, so I cannot wait to see what the next year brings.
The next week of my life is being taken up with birthday celebrations, and I’m not mad about it in the slightest. I love any excuse for a celebration and my 18th birthday is definitely going to be one to remember… I cannot wait! I have so many exciting events planned for over my birthday and of course I will be sharing photos of my parties etc. As you are reading this I am currently setting up for my end of A levels garden party that I am hosting on Saturday, which I am also looking forward to… all the celebrations and I’m so here for it!
Anyway, I’m not really sure what this blog post is really and I know that it has definitely lacked structure but I’m glad I have been able to write again and just give you all a well overdue update of my life. the short of this blog post is that I can’t wait to breathe again and just live my life without the guilt of A levels and actually enjoy myself for what my life is. As always thank you so much for reading and please let me know if you have any blog post requests for over the summer as now I have a lot more spare time I will be able to do any requests, I have a list in my notepad but I’m always willing to add ideas!