I think I just need a bit of a catch up, its going to be a ramble and if you are reading this then I presume that you are a regular reader over here, if not please look at another post first where I am more put together and not just chatting without any structure whatsoever (what I’m trying to say is that this is not my best work). I do think that these posts are necessary though, to just have a bit of a life update and chat about how I’m feeling without the ‘perfect’ aspect and instead be a bit more real and truthful.
I like just sitting down sometimes and typing with no plan apart from to chat and see where the post takes me. Grab a drink of choice because this is going to be long and come along for the tour of what feels like the inside of my mind. And I’m just going to be real with you… my life is so chaotic at the moment that I started to plan this post sat in a coffee shop and I’m finishing it 300ft in the air on a plane to Tenerife. Life is just a bit crazy eh?
I feel like I just need to go back to basics and explain a little. I wasn’t going to do this and I usually keep my personal life private but I owe an explanation for why I have been so weird and my upload schedule has been so random. All I can say is that LIFE HAPPENED. My ‘normal’ for the past year all ended in a fortnight, and my life shifted from the usual to something different. It seems like I am being overdramatic (I probably am to be fair) but I felt like I had entered a tornado, been spun around and then thrown out of the other end. I finished my A levels, went through a breakup from my long term relationship and had an unexpected 4 day hospital stay which resulted in emergency surgery.
But you know what? I’m so fucking glad it happened. My life is different now and it didn’t feel good at the tine but now its a much better different and I’m so happy. I’m almost glad it all happened at once, people do say that life comes in a series of 3 and Im glad because I’m now ready to enjoy my summer as a healthier and happier person. That being said, I do hope that my next series is a positive three things because I’m not sure I can cope with much more this year!
So if you do read this blog quite regularly then now you know why I have been pretty quiet over here over the past month or so. I have had my blog for 18 months now and I have always uploaded at least twice a week no matter what, until July happened. Days went by and then weeks went by, all of my scheduled posts were uploaded and weren’t being replenished and that ultimately led to just over two weeks of not posting here… which is completely out of character for me. I started to feel really guilty about not posting but it was much needed and on reflection I am glad that I did give myself one less thing to think about rather than push myself to stupid limits like I usually do.
Im not the kind of person to sit here and moan about my life on my blog (I aim to keep everything the highlights of my life and all the happy moments), but Indigo Rosee just needed to take a backseat for a while whilst I prioritised Tori… if that makes any sense? I’m so glad I didn’t push myself to upload as nothing would have been genuine anyway. A hobby is a great escape but my blog is a document of my life so I started to feel like I would have lost my integrity by coming online and just being all upbeat and happy, it just didn’t feel right.
However, the time I spent not writing and doing emails and everything else I should have been doing I started to spend thinking about my blog, where it has been and most importantly where it is heading. I think that I have been writing posts for the sake of uploading really, due to my A levels I never really had the time to fully devote to my blog so I certainly haven’t been producing my best work and attending as many events as I would like (it broke my little blogging heart every time I had to turn down an event due to my A levels but priorities). July was meant to be the month of Indigo Rosee and I did have grand plans to fully devote everything to my blog, do some travelling and make the best content that I ever had. Well that didn’t happen in the slightest, as you have seen from what you have just read nothing seemed to go to plan in July. Watching Liv Rook’s video the other day (click here) made me realise that it is something that I needed to share and just talk about in a post like this, as I’m sure more people feel the same (she definitely put into words exactly how I have been feeling recently).
Its very easy to make this post an update where I moan about everything but theres no point doing that if I’m not going to change things. So what am I going to do? I want to make Indigo Rosee a place where I can enjoy and get the same buzz from it that I used to, posting content that I love rather than what gets the most views and just see what happens. I’m keeping my name and logo (which I still adore) but I have been sorting a full layout rebrand for August which I am so excited about in order to make my site more professional and easier to navigate for my audience. My short term plan is to up my game in August and fall back in love with creating content again. I thought July was going to be my month and it wasn’t, so we are postponing it to August. Yeah I’m not going on any fancy holidays and making aesthetically pleasing travel content but I have a lot more time at home to devote to studying content for back to school, which is my absolute favourite type of post to make as I love helping and motivating people.
My long term plan is a lot looser and not set in stone yet, but within the next year I want to have a business and expand the Indigo Rosee name in a way that I have always wanted to since I first started my blog in 2016. I always joke to my family that I am building an empire one view at a time but in order for this to work it requires effort and I want to use my rather business focused brain within my blog to expand it. I’m not sure what is in the pipeline but this name is being expanded and forwarded into other projects. I just hope that I will be supported within the community I have worked so hard to build over the past 18 months. Exciting times are ahead and I can’t wait to see where Indigo Rosee goes and what comes of the name and the blog.
Im actually quite proud if you have made it to the end of this, it has taken me almost two hours to write and I’m hoping it takes a lot less to read! I’m so glad that I have had the chance to just have a bit of a long ramble and give a more in depth update about whats going on in the world of Tori. Please talk to me about this post, I would love your feedback and requests for august posts. As always thank you so much for reading this, I always appreciate the support that you all give me and it never goes unnoticed.